Helping Teens and Families Live Happier Lives
Helping Teens and Families Live Happier Lives
Helping Teens and Families Live Happier Lives
Helping Teens and Families Live Happier Lives
How do you talk to your middle school tweenager about heavy topics like suicide? Well, let's
talk about that today on Tips on Teens. My name is Kent Toussaint. I'm a licensed marriage and
family therapist, and I specialize in helping kids, teens, and families to live happier lives.
I lead two organizations, Teen Therapy Center and the nonprofit 501c3 organization, child
and teen counseling, both here in Woodland Hills, California. Every Wednesday at noon, I jump
onto Facebook Live to answer your parenting questions. Let's answer today's. There have been
several reported runaways and suicide attempts at our middle school this semester. How should
I be talking to my kids about this without freaking them or me out? Thank you for your question.
This is a really tough one. I totally understand the discomfort and the fear aligned with all
this. How you talk about it, the first thing is make sure that you are feeling grounded and comfortable
or at least able to embrace the discomfort of the conversation.
Because if you're scared of it, and you're hesitant, your kids are going to pick up on that. And
they're going to be just as hesitant, if not more. So it's really important that you're doing
your work on yourself, whether that's through journaling, talking to your own therapist or
whatever that is, make sure you feel you can talk about this in a direct and respectful manner.
Second, let's create an environment where there's little to no distraction where you guys
can talk. Maybe that's in the car, maybe that's in her bedroom or in the kitchen table. And again,
that is without a cell phone present. I know that's a challenge, but that's, you know, the cell
phone just going to get in the way. Third is just talk about a directly with some compassion.
You know, you can say, Hey, I know, there's been a lot of, you know, suicide attempts at school
lately. And I imagine it's got to be kind of tough. I'm curious how you're feeling about it. Now,
you may get the you know, don't let that throw you.
It's okay. Stay in the conversation and say, Well, if I were you, I would have a lot of feelings.
And I just want you to know that I want to be a safe place for you to talk about that. And you may still
get the shrugging of shoulders and say, Hey, you know, I just want to make sure you're feeling
safe and you don't feel alone because a lot of times suicide or running away comes from the same
place of feeling trapped, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like you don't know what to do. And
so it feels like, you know, it's the cliche line. It's the permanent solution to a temporary
problem. Some kids relate to that. Some kids won't, it just depends. But I want to make sure you
don't feel trapped. And I'm wondering, have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt like you
need to kill yourself or run away to escape your problems? Right now, I know the alarm bells in
your head are ringing, like, I can't say that. I'm gonna give them the idea, and you're not. You're
not. If they haven't thought about
it, they're likely to say, no, and roll the eyes, and you can probably take them at their word.
If you ask the question, hey, have you thought about suicide before, or running away, and you
get the long pause, or you just get the hmm there may be something more there and I think it's okay
to acknowledge that hey you know your long pause or your ambiguous answer you know makes me concerned
because I love you so much I want to make sure that you don't feel alone and you don't feel trapped
and if you can't talk to me I want to make sure you have someone to talk to whether that's your cousin
whether that's a therapist whether that's your rabbi whoever that is someone who can be a support
for your teenager and or teenager. And if you need to find that person, I encourage you to find
that person. But it's talking about, you know, coping skills that you know, through creativity,
through physical activities, social activities, grounding exercises, exercises like breathing
exercises, there's a lot
of things that help, but helping them understand that being alone with these feelings is overwhelming.
Sharing these feelings in a safe place where you're not going to feel judged, where you're going
to feel supported, not necessarily that you're going to give the answers, just that you can
just listen and understand may be enough. And I think it's helping to create those environments
and helping them understand that those environments are there. Also providing the 988, the
National Suicide Hotline. So if they have, you know, three in the morning they can't sleep and
they don't want to wake you up, but they're willing to call 988, that's an option too. It's a big
topic. Again, running away and suicide, painting with a broad brush here, often come from the
same place of feeling overwhelmed, feeling like these problems are beyond one's capacity
to handle and it'll never end. As adults, we know, most of us, that problems come and go. And no
matter how big the problem is, eventually it passes.
And it depends not, the problem is not what defines us, it's how we respond to the problem. and
helping our kids understand how we respond to problems is what defines us, who we are, not the
problem itself. This is a huge topic, obviously, and I'm going to scratch the surface a little
bit, but I think it's really important to talk about kids directly about this in an open and healthy
conversation, not trying to convince them, not trying to change their minds, but help them
understand that you understand how they feel. That's our question for today. Again, my name
is Kent Toussaint with Teen Therapy Center. If you want more information, give us a call at our
phone number below. We love to hear your questions. If you want me to answer your question here
on Tips on Teens, you can email us at tipsonteens at teentherapycenter .com. You can also join
our Facebook group, Tips on Teens. We'd love to have you join. Thanks again, and I'll see you
guys next week. Bye -bye.
Empowering Teen Mental Health and Family Well-Being: How Teen Therapy Center Helps Teens and Families Thrive
At Teen Therapy Center, our mission is simple yet profound: to help children, teens, and families live happier, more fulfilling lives. We’re passionate about what we do, and we’re good at it. We like to say “we speak teen and we speak parent.” Through our unique approach, we break down the barriers that often exist between teens and their parents, fostering open, honest communication. This is achieved by our dedicated team, who are not just experts in their fields but also know how to connect with both teens and parents in a way that resonates.
Understanding Teen Mental Health
The teenage years are a period of immense change, growth, and challenges. Teen mental health is a critical area of focus at Teen Therapy Center because we understand the unique struggles teens face today. From navigating social pressures to managing academic expectations, teens often encounter overwhelming stress. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to more serious mental health concerns, such as anxiety and depression.
Anxiety in teenagers is more common than many realize. The constant pressure to excel in school, fit in socially, and plan for the future can create significant stress. This anxiety, if not addressed, can hinder a teen’s ability to enjoy life and achieve their full potential. Our therapists work closely with teens to help them identify the sources of their anxiety and develop effective coping strategies.
Depression in teens is another critical issue that we address. It’s not just sadness; it’s a pervasive feeling of hopelessness that can affect every aspect of a teen’s life, from their relationships with family and friends to their academic performance. Our therapeutic approach is designed to meet teens where they are, offering them a safe space to express their feelings and guiding them toward a brighter outlook on life .We believe that the mental health of a teenager is intricately connected to the well-being of the entire family. That’s why we offer family therapy for teens. Family dynamics can be complex, and when a teen is struggling, it often affects the whole family. Family therapy helps to address these challenges by improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening the bonds that hold the family together.
At Teen Therapy Center, our family therapy sessions are tailored to meet the unique needs of each family. Whether it’s helping parents understand their teen’s perspective, resolving long-standing conflicts, or simply providing a space for open dialogue, our therapists are here to support you every step of the way. We work to create an environment where every family member feels heard and valued, and where positive change can take root. When we treat a teen, we treat the whole family.
A Team That Truly Cares
Our staff is a group of fun-loving professionals who come from a variety of backgrounds, bringing a wealth of experience and diverse perspectives to the table. This diversity allows us to connect with a wide range of clients, ensuring that we can provide the best possible care for every individual and family who walks through our doors.
We pride ourselves on our ability to bridge the gap that often exists between generations, making it easier for teens and their parents to understand each other and work together toward a common goal.
Start Your Journey with Us
We offer individual, family, and group therapy, and we’re committed to helping you find the support that’s right for you. We understand that seeking therapy is a big step, and we’re here to make that process as smooth as possible. That’s why we’re happy to offer a free consultation to see if we’re the right fit for you and your family. If not, we’ll still help guide you to the support you need.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to us at (818) 697-8555. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety in teenagers, depression in teens, or seeking family therapy for teens, we’re here to help. We’d love to hear from you and start working together to build a happier, healthier future for your family.697-8555, we’d love to hear from you!
Online and Phone Sessions Available!
Teen Therapy Center is offering virtual therapy through platforms like Zoom, FaceTime, or via phone call. Whether you attend session in-person or from home, our therapists remain committed to providing a high level of care, compassion, and support for you and your family.
Online and Phone Sessions Available!
Teen Therapy Center is offering virtual therapy through platforms like Zoom, FaceTime, or via phone call. Whether you attend session in-person or from home, our therapists remain committed to providing a high level of care, compassion, and support for you and your family.
Our Latest "Tips on Teens" Video
Tips on Teens is our weekly segment on Facebook Live where Kent Toussaint answers your parenting questions. We cover a wide range of topics affecting teens and their families. We’ve archived all the videos right here on the site.
Click below to search our library of Tips on Teens videos for answers to your questions. As always, we love to hear your questions. Send them to us here.
Oh no, your teenage daughter has a toxic best friend. Well, let's talk about that today on Tips
on Teens. My name is Kent Toussaint. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I specialize
in helping kids, teens, and families to live happier lives. By the way, if you or someone you
care for could really benefit from talking to a family therapist, please reach out to us at Teen
Therapy Center. Our contact information is down below. Now let's jump into today's parent
submitted question on Tips on Teens. My 13 year old daughter has a girlfriend who is very toxic.
Every time she hangs out with this friend she seems really down and surly afterwards. From what
my daughter has told me, I know this friend is very negative in general and critical of my daughter
and our home when she comes over. They always do a lot of whispering and corners and such too,
which really bugs me. How do I help my daughter recognize how negative this person is without
accidentally pushing her closer to the toxic
friend? Thank you for your question. I think many parents can relate to this one.
There's many different directions I want to go with this. The first thing I want to focus on is
how you talk about after the friend leaves the house, your daughter feels negative and feels
down and feels surly and grumpy. And I'm wondering how you can support her in those moments that
will she just totally refuse to be around you? Will she be open to your warmth and compassion?
Now, if you can get her to start talking, here's the trap. This is not the opportunity to bash
the toxic best friend that is just going to put this best friend on a pedestal. And your daughter's
gonna feel like she has to defend this person and protect her. So don't take the opportunity
to go, see, she's wrong. Find new friends. We know that's what she needs to do, but she needs to
come to that on her own. You planting that seed in her is going to make it her farther and farther
away. So the more you can offer that warmth, that compassion, however your daughter can receive
it. If she will accept warm, loving touch,
all the better. Some kids won't. I understand that. So, it's finding what your kid will accept,
maybe just sitting next to each other in the car. Some kids really respond better to that. So,
we're not looking at each other, you're in the car, maybe that's what she'll talk more. If she
starts talking about what she's feeling and what she's upset about, again, don't jump to the
conclusion of the finish line. Allow her to get there on her own. Just offer her empathy and support.
You can ask her questions like, Wow, you know, is this how you want to be treated? Are you okay
with this? Now, here's the thing. When you go through this experience with your daughter, if
your daughter has other friends, if she has other activities that she's doing, this friendship
may be short lived. However, if your daughter's whole social existence is based on this one
girl, it's going to be a harder slog because she may be so scared of letting go of this because
if she lets go of this toxic best friend, she has
no one. And a 13 -year -old girl or boy, so much of their identity is based on feeling connected
to others around them. And this is normal human development. This is not unusual for a teenager.
So we have to understand that. So if your daughter is in a place where her whole social identity
is wrapped on this toxic friend, we may need to help her long -term start building other friendships,
getting her involved in other activities, school choir, softball, robotics. It really doesn't
matter what as long as she's doing something where she's connecting to new people another thing
is Let's assume this toxic friend is being disrespectful at your home and you feel it's disrespectful
Number one don't take it personally if you're allowing a 13 year old to insult you and you feel
betrayed and insulted and hurt that's a you problem not a 13 or problem a 13 year old should not
be able to get under your skin like that by rolling their eyes or saying rude comments. You can
still set boundaries. You can,
you know, have them both sit down and say, listen, we have boundaries in our house that we speak
to each other with respect and kindness. And this is how we're going to go. If you want to keep
coming here, you want to be here, we're happy to have you here. But you know, these are the rules
that we have. You do this from a place of compassion, patience, empathy. Remember, she's 13.
She is not, she does not have a fully developed adult brain. So have some patience, empathy with
this girl. If she's reacting this way, imagine the pain this girl is feeling in her own life.
So again, the more patient and empathic you can be, I think the more response you're gonna get
and the less you're going to jump into the role of the big bad evil dragon, which this girl may
want you to be because it makes it easier for you to be there. And if you step into the dragon role,
it's easier for your daughter to push you away and then idealize the friend. So set the boundaries
and if she can't follow these boundaries,
maybe she doesn't come over anymore. However, there still be friends at school, maybe online,
so you can't just legislate this friendship. The more you can show everyone, especially your
daughter, who you really are and the compassionate, kind, loving person you are, the more your
daughter will see it and it'll be easier for her to lean on you when this other friend is mistreating
her and hopefully help her find new avenues of friendship and activity. It's a big question.
If you feel like you need more support with this, again, give us a call here at Teen Therapy Center.
We work with clients like this all the time. Also, our nonprofit, Child and Teen Counseling,
at the same office where we have lower fees. We have therapists for all budgets and all experiences.
We really focus on kids, teens, and families at Teen Therapy Center and child and teen counseling.
So give us a call. If you'd like me to answer your question here on Tips on Teens every Wednesday
at noon on Facebook Live, email
us at tipsonteens at teentherapycenter .com or you can direct message us right here on Facebook,
Instagram, YouTube. We love your questions. Keep them coming. I will see you next Wednesday
and have a good week, guys. Bye -bye.
How does YOUR kid fit in?
"Ask Kent" at CBS Morning News
Our Clinical Director, Kent Toussaint, appeared on his ongoing segment “Ask Kent” at CBS Morning News. Kent answered questions from parents about REAL parenting issues.
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