Helping Teens and Families Live Happier Lives
Helping Teens and Families Live Happier Lives
Helping Teens and Families Live Happier Lives
Helping Teens and Families Live Happier Lives
How do you talk to your middle school tweenager about heavy topics like suicide? Well, let's
talk about that today on Tips on Teens. My name is Kent Toussaint. I'm a licensed marriage and
family therapist, and I specialize in helping kids, teens, and families to live happier lives.
I lead two organizations, Teen Therapy Center and the nonprofit 501c3 organization, child
and teen counseling, both here in Woodland Hills, California. Every Wednesday at noon, I jump
onto Facebook Live to answer your parenting questions. Let's answer today's. There have been
several reported runaways and suicide attempts at our middle school this semester. How should
I be talking to my kids about this without freaking them or me out? Thank you for your question.
This is a really tough one. I totally understand the discomfort and the fear aligned with all
this. How you talk about it, the first thing is make sure that you are feeling grounded and comfortable
or at least able to embrace the discomfort of the conversation.
Because if you're scared of it, and you're hesitant, your kids are going to pick up on that. And
they're going to be just as hesitant, if not more. So it's really important that you're doing
your work on yourself, whether that's through journaling, talking to your own therapist or
whatever that is, make sure you feel you can talk about this in a direct and respectful manner.
Second, let's create an environment where there's little to no distraction where you guys
can talk. Maybe that's in the car, maybe that's in her bedroom or in the kitchen table. And again,
that is without a cell phone present. I know that's a challenge, but that's, you know, the cell
phone just going to get in the way. Third is just talk about a directly with some compassion.
You know, you can say, Hey, I know, there's been a lot of, you know, suicide attempts at school
lately. And I imagine it's got to be kind of tough. I'm curious how you're feeling about it. Now,
you may get the you know, don't let that throw you.
It's okay. Stay in the conversation and say, Well, if I were you, I would have a lot of feelings.
And I just want you to know that I want to be a safe place for you to talk about that. And you may still
get the shrugging of shoulders and say, Hey, you know, I just want to make sure you're feeling
safe and you don't feel alone because a lot of times suicide or running away comes from the same
place of feeling trapped, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like you don't know what to do. And
so it feels like, you know, it's the cliche line. It's the permanent solution to a temporary
problem. Some kids relate to that. Some kids won't, it just depends. But I want to make sure you
don't feel trapped. And I'm wondering, have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt like you
need to kill yourself or run away to escape your problems? Right now, I know the alarm bells in
your head are ringing, like, I can't say that. I'm gonna give them the idea, and you're not. You're
not. If they haven't thought about
it, they're likely to say, no, and roll the eyes, and you can probably take them at their word.
If you ask the question, hey, have you thought about suicide before, or running away, and you
get the long pause, or you just get the hmm there may be something more there and I think it's okay
to acknowledge that hey you know your long pause or your ambiguous answer you know makes me concerned
because I love you so much I want to make sure that you don't feel alone and you don't feel trapped
and if you can't talk to me I want to make sure you have someone to talk to whether that's your cousin
whether that's a therapist whether that's your rabbi whoever that is someone who can be a support
for your teenager and or teenager. And if you need to find that person, I encourage you to find
that person. But it's talking about, you know, coping skills that you know, through creativity,
through physical activities, social activities, grounding exercises, exercises like breathing
exercises, there's a lot
of things that help, but helping them understand that being alone with these feelings is overwhelming.
Sharing these feelings in a safe place where you're not going to feel judged, where you're going
to feel supported, not necessarily that you're going to give the answers, just that you can
just listen and understand may be enough. And I think it's helping to create those environments
and helping them understand that those environments are there. Also providing the 988, the
National Suicide Hotline. So if they have, you know, three in the morning they can't sleep and
they don't want to wake you up, but they're willing to call 988, that's an option too. It's a big
topic. Again, running away and suicide, painting with a broad brush here, often come from the
same place of feeling overwhelmed, feeling like these problems are beyond one's capacity
to handle and it'll never end. As adults, we know, most of us, that problems come and go. And no
matter how big the problem is, eventually it passes.
And it depends not, the problem is not what defines us, it's how we respond to the problem. and
helping our kids understand how we respond to problems is what defines us, who we are, not the
problem itself. This is a huge topic, obviously, and I'm going to scratch the surface a little
bit, but I think it's really important to talk about kids directly about this in an open and healthy
conversation, not trying to convince them, not trying to change their minds, but help them
understand that you understand how they feel. That's our question for today. Again, my name
is Kent Toussaint with Teen Therapy Center. If you want more information, give us a call at our
phone number below. We love to hear your questions. If you want me to answer your question here
on Tips on Teens, you can email us at tipsonteens at teentherapycenter .com. You can also join
our Facebook group, Tips on Teens. We'd love to have you join. Thanks again, and I'll see you
guys next week. Bye -bye.
Empowering Teen Mental Health and Family Well-Being: How Teen Therapy Center Helps Teens and Families Thrive
At Teen Therapy Center, our mission is simple yet profound: to help children, teens, and families live happier, more fulfilling lives. We’re passionate about what we do, and we’re good at it. We like to say “we speak teen and we speak parent.” Through our unique approach, we break down the barriers that often exist between teens and their parents, fostering open, honest communication. This is achieved by our dedicated team, who are not just experts in their fields but also know how to connect with both teens and parents in a way that resonates.
Understanding Teen Mental Health
The teenage years are a period of immense change, growth, and challenges. Teen mental health is a critical area of focus at Teen Therapy Center because we understand the unique struggles teens face today. From navigating social pressures to managing academic expectations, teens often encounter overwhelming stress. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to more serious mental health concerns, such as anxiety and depression.
Anxiety in teenagers is more common than many realize. The constant pressure to excel in school, fit in socially, and plan for the future can create significant stress. This anxiety, if not addressed, can hinder a teen’s ability to enjoy life and achieve their full potential. Our therapists work closely with teens to help them identify the sources of their anxiety and develop effective coping strategies.
Depression in teens is another critical issue that we address. It’s not just sadness; it’s a pervasive feeling of hopelessness that can affect every aspect of a teen’s life, from their relationships with family and friends to their academic performance. Our therapeutic approach is designed to meet teens where they are, offering them a safe space to express their feelings and guiding them toward a brighter outlook on life .We believe that the mental health of a teenager is intricately connected to the well-being of the entire family. That’s why we offer family therapy for teens. Family dynamics can be complex, and when a teen is struggling, it often affects the whole family. Family therapy helps to address these challenges by improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening the bonds that hold the family together.
At Teen Therapy Center, our family therapy sessions are tailored to meet the unique needs of each family. Whether it’s helping parents understand their teen’s perspective, resolving long-standing conflicts, or simply providing a space for open dialogue, our therapists are here to support you every step of the way. We work to create an environment where every family member feels heard and valued, and where positive change can take root. When we treat a teen, we treat the whole family.
A Team That Truly Cares
Our staff is a group of fun-loving professionals who come from a variety of backgrounds, bringing a wealth of experience and diverse perspectives to the table. This diversity allows us to connect with a wide range of clients, ensuring that we can provide the best possible care for every individual and family who walks through our doors.
We pride ourselves on our ability to bridge the gap that often exists between generations, making it easier for teens and their parents to understand each other and work together toward a common goal.
Start Your Journey with Us
We offer individual, family, and group therapy, and we’re committed to helping you find the support that’s right for you. We understand that seeking therapy is a big step, and we’re here to make that process as smooth as possible. That’s why we’re happy to offer a free consultation to see if we’re the right fit for you and your family. If not, we’ll still help guide you to the support you need.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to us at (818) 697-8555. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety in teenagers, depression in teens, or seeking family therapy for teens, we’re here to help. We’d love to hear from you and start working together to build a happier, healthier future for your family.697-8555, we’d love to hear from you!
Online and Phone Sessions Available!
Teen Therapy Center is offering virtual therapy through platforms like Zoom, FaceTime, or via phone call. Whether you attend session in-person or from home, our therapists remain committed to providing a high level of care, compassion, and support for you and your family.
Online and Phone Sessions Available!
Teen Therapy Center is offering virtual therapy through platforms like Zoom, FaceTime, or via phone call. Whether you attend session in-person or from home, our therapists remain committed to providing a high level of care, compassion, and support for you and your family.
Our Latest "Tips on Teens" Video
Tips on Teens is our weekly segment on Facebook Live where Kent Toussaint answers your parenting questions. We cover a wide range of topics affecting teens and their families. We’ve archived all the videos right here on the site.
Click below to search our library of Tips on Teens videos for answers to your questions. As always, we love to hear your questions. Send them to us here.
How do you get your teenager to talk to you? Well, how about you and I talk about that today on Tips
on Teens. My name is Kent Toussaint. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist. I specialize
in helping kids, teens, and families to live happier lives. By the way, if you or someone you
care for could really benefit from talking to a family therapist, please reach out to us at Teen
Therapy Center. Our contact information is down below. Now, let's jump into today's parent
submitted question here on tips on teens. My teen doesn't talk to me or my husband whether we're
at the dinner table or on the drive to school or back. How do we communicate better? Thank you
for your question. I think a lot of parents can relate to this one. There's a couple ways to look
at it. First, you may not need to worry about this if certain conditions are met. For example,
has his motivation for school dropped dramatically? If it has, there may be something more
going on if not, and he has some semblance of
a social life outside of on a screen. He's engaged in his extracurricular activities. This
may be typical, normal, mundane, adolescent pushing away from parents, which is a normal part
of human development. If they didn't do this, they'd never leave the house. It's just really
uncomfortable and not fun for the parents. Let's assume that there aren't other red flags going
on and he's living a typical teenage life. He just thinks you guys are kind of boring and irritating.
If that's the case, be patient, it will come around, especially if he used to be engaged with
you and used to be connected to you. This will come back around. It may not be until he leaves high
school. But be patient. I use this analogy a lot. But you know, teenagers are a lot like feral
cats. So you have this feral cat in your backyard, you want to befriend this cat. So you bring
the little bowl of food out, you've got it 10 feet away from you and you sit there and you have to
be very patient. Because if you chase after
this cat wanting to pet the cat, the cat is, he's out of there. So you have to be patient and just
keep reaching out. Some of the ways you can do that are some boundaries like hey, we're at the
dinner table, there are no screens, which means you have to follow that rule too. In the car.
You may have to have the same boundary of, hey, when we're in the car, there are no screens, we
can listen to a podcast or radio, but this is our time to talk. You may not do it every time, but
maybe sometimes you initiate this. Maybe there's family game night. You know, there are times
at home when there are no screens. Again, you have to follow that too. If you guys are always on
screens, the screens are much more interesting than you will ever be. So So you may have to limit
that in some way. Also, what are his interests? Let's say his interests are anime, but you think
anime is stupid and is boring and you don't get it. You have to find some way to enjoy anime with
him. You don't have to enjoy anime,
but can you enjoy that he's enjoying it? And I think that's a real distinction. You need to, you
know, on the bridge of either, here I am, camera here. If you're on either side of a bridge, you
may need to go 75 % of the way there for him to go that 25 because you're the parent you're the adult
he's the kid and that's just kind of what we do as parents eventually it will even out but for some
reason and I don't know why could be a thousand reasons why he's pushing away and part of it could
be that normal adolescent pulling away from parents which is normal and part of growing up part
of being more connected to a sexuality and a sexual identity and wanting to have that awareness
and realizing that I don't want my parents see me that way because I my parents see me that way
I have to see my parents in that way and I don't want to think about my parents in a sexual way that's
gross and disgusting so sometimes kids will just push away altogether so be patient keep reaching
out make sure that
your yearning for his connection is not putting pressure on him to take care of your emotional
needs he is not qualified to care of your emotional needs in any way I'm not saying what he's doing
is right. I'm not condoning it. I'm just saying it's not abnormal. Be patient with it. The more
relaxed and patient you are, the less pressure it is on him to reach out to you. It's a big topic.
If you'd like to talk more about this, you can always give us a call. Again, my name is Kent Toussaint.
This is Tips on Teens where every Wednesday we're live on Facebook to answer your questions.
I represent Teen Therapy Center and the non -profit 501c3 organization, child and teen counseling,
both here in Woodland Hills, California. We have therapists for pretty much every budget across
both organizations. We'd love to help you if that's something you would like to do. If you'd
like me to answer your questions here on Tips on Teens, email us at tipsonteens at teentherapycenter
.com. Thank you so much.
And I'll see you guys next Wednesday, live on Facebook. Bye -bye.
How does YOUR kid fit in?
"Ask Kent" at CBS Morning News
Our Clinical Director, Kent Toussaint, appeared on his ongoing segment “Ask Kent” at CBS Morning News. Kent answered questions from parents about REAL parenting issues.
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