How can I protect my son from bullying?

So your son has ADHD and he's getting bullied at school. How do you help him? Well, let's talk
about that today on Tips on Teens. My name is Kent Toussaint. I'm a licensed marriage and family
therapist and I specialize in helping kids, teens, and families to live happier lives. I lead
two organizations, Teen Therapy Center and the non -profit 501c3 organization, Child and
Teen Counseling, both here in Woodland Hills, California. And every Wednesday at noon, I jump
onto Facebook Live to answer your parenting questions. Let's answer today's. I am concerned
that my son, who has ADHD, is being bullied and he is not opening up to us about it. He refuses help
and thinks he can handle the annoying kids. He is not socially savvy and he gets in trouble by
saying inappropriate comments when he tries to defend himself. And he is not reporting to staff.
He is on IEP but they are not helpful and all they do is pull him out for sessions that he says are
not beneficial to him because he is grouped with

kids who have lots of speech and other problems. I feel that the IEP pull -out sessions are backfiring
instead of helping him. Moreover, he is being called SPED. How can I protect my son? Thank you
for your question. There's a lot going on here. There's actually two main themes here. Number
one is the bullying. Number Number two is the lack of support that you see in the school. So let's
deal with the bullying first. We need to help him advocate with the school, and if he's not going
to do it, maybe you have to do it. I don't know his kid's age, whether he's middle school, high
school, you know, maybe elementary, but you've already said he's socially not very savvy.
He's not going to be aware of how to do this, so you're going to need to be his advocate. You're
going to need to be talking to the school administrators, the school counselors, the teachers,
making sure that he's getting the support he needs because bowling is not really tenable. It's
not going to help him in any way, and he's

not going to be able to handle on his own as he is shown. Getting him involved in other things outside
of school, whether that's a sport, whether that's music, whether that's scouts, whether that's
working backstage in the local kids theater program, it doesn't matter what it is. As long as
your son is finding some social connection, some physical connection and some creative connection
in some way or other, you know, maybe there's more social or more physical or more creative.
I don't know where those balances are for your son, but he needs to find something that he can
call his own, that he feels important, feels he's part of something bigger. That will, I think,
help some of the self -confidence and give him a sense of mastery and purpose in his life so he's
not acting out so much. You also, you know, do you need to consult with a psychiatrist. I don't
know if your child's on medication or not. If you don't want them on medication, I understand.
It's a question for every kid who's on,

you know, dealing with ADHD symptoms. Do you medicate? Not medicate? It's not an easy choice
and there's no one right choice. If you are hesitant about medication, you want to try things,
making sure he's getting enough sleep, making sure his diet is on point, which is hard because
he's probably a sugar fiend. Make sure he's not on screens all the time. The screens are not helping.
The video games, TikTok, YouTube, they are not helping your son regulate. They are deregulating
your son's emotions. So kind of minimize that as much as you can. Going to the IEP. If you think
that's not working, you need to advocate with the school. Why is it not working? What's happening?
Keep advocating with the principal, the school counselor, whoever it is in charge of the IEP
program. Really make sure that you are best friends with that person Because it may be that he's
just not cooperating, you know, and they need to do something else to help him cooperate. Could
just be his maturity. I don't know. But

00:03:56 Speaker 2
you need to have a real clear understanding of why it's not working. It's not just because they're
pulling them out of class. And if he's being called sped, you know, there's something going
on that he is acting out in a way that's, you know, creating this. I'm not saying it's his fault,
but my hunch is he's falling into the traps because he's not socially aware enough to know how
to to stay way out of this trap. So advocate, find ways for him to get more socially connected
either at school or outside of school. Maybe he needs to go to a different school, I don't know.
There's again, there's a lot going on here, but he needs you to be his champion until he can be
his own champion. It's a lot going on. I wish I had a silver bullet for this, but I don't think there
is. I think it's a slog and a lot of hard work that you're gonna have to go through to help your son
mature and grow and find things that he feels connected to. Anyways, that's our question for
today. If you have questions you'd

like me to answer, email us at tipsonteens at teentherapycenter .com or you can direct message
us right here on Facebook or Instagram or YouTube. We're all over the social media place. Woohoo!
Again, my name is Kent Toussaint with Teen Therapy Center and Child and Teen Counseling and
I look forward to talking to you guys next week with your questions. Bye -bye.