How do I control my kid’s screen time?

Is your kids screen time getting out of control? Hi, my name is Kent Toussaint I'm a licensed
marriage family therapist and I specialize in helping kids teens and families to live happier
lives Today on tips on teens We're gonna be talking about this question and by the way If you or
someone you love could really benefit from talking to a child and family therapist I would love
to hear from you please contact us at Teen Therapy Center. Our information is down below. Now
let's jump into today's parent -submitted question here on Tips on Teens. I need to do something
about my son's screen time. I feel like it's getting out of control. When we first bought him
his iPhone, we talked about not using social media and having limits on playing games, but now
he's doing it all the time and we feel helpless to stop him. Do you feel that using iPhone screen
time restrictions to limit hours or physically taking the phone away is better in limiting
screen time? Thank you for your question. I think a

lot of parents can relate to this, and I would go a step further. First of all, taking the phone
away, that's a dicey proposition because then you get into the situation where your kid's flooded
with emotions and you get in the tug of war with it's not good for anybody. It leads to the iPhone
breaking, screaming, slamming doors, you know, physical contact between parent and child
that's not loving and warm. And it just escalates in a way that doesn't need to. The iPhone screen
limits on the iPhone may be a little too blunt and not precise enough. And so what I'd recommend
is looking online to find the right app that's right for your family. There are several apps
I'm talking about fine -tune and limit screen time. There's Custodio, there's Bark, there's
Aura, there's CirclePlus, there's R -Packed, there's many, many more. Which one's the best?
I don't know. Shop around, figure out which one is best for you. None of them are perfect, and
all of them have loopholes and problems. If you want

to know what they are, check them out. Ask Google, Google will tell you or any search engine that
you choose. You often have to, even though it says the setup is easy, you might have to contact
customer service because this one little setting on your computer or your iPhone is not on and
it's not in the directions. So be prepared that this is going to be a process and what this can
do is it can limit screen time. certain times of the day. It can also limit certain apps, certain
websites. You can fine -tune which app or which website you want to limit at what times. That
way you're not getting the tug -of -war. So if they're, you know, playing too much Minecraft
or whatever it is they're playing and you just can't get them off, you can just shut Minecraft
off from your phone. Again, none of them are perfect. And I would encourage you to collaborate
with your child on what these limits are, how to help them understand when those limits will
be enforced, how to earn more screen time through,

you know, responsibility. And again, it's earning, it's not just getting. And that's a big
thing. make sure they're earning it in a way that is reasonable. You don't want to be a prison
warden. We also don't want to be, you know, just giving them everything so they don't have to
earn anything. It's a fine balance. What is that balance for your family? I don't know. Cause
every family is going to be different. What one family will work with one family. will not necessarily
work for the other family. So you really have to fine tune what is right for you. If it's getting
out of control, and you're having a hard time communicating with your child about this, again,
collaborating with a child therapist, you know, who speaks teenager, like I speak teenager
and I speak parent. So it's really important that, you know, we understand how that works, so
we can help navigate and help the child and the parents find the imperfect middle. you're not
thrilled about the plan, your kid's not thrilled about

the plan, which probably means it's pretty good. Don't go for perfection. Don't go for just,
it's my way or no way at all, because that just builds resentment on both sides. It's tough. Do
your research. Talk to other parents, see what apps they use, see if it works for you, and go from
there. But again, I strongly recommend you don't get into the tug of war. And these apps can work
on iPhones, tablets, computers, anything that accesses the internet. So, look into those
things. Anyways, that's our question for today. Thank you so much for submitting your question.
Again, my name is Kent Toussaint, with teen .com. Therapy Center and the nonprofit 501 c3 organization
child and teen counseling where across both organizations We have therapists for all budgets.
We also have a Facebook group called tips on teens Feel free to join us and you'll get more content.
And if you want to ask questions there, too, please do And I'll see you guys next Wednesday at
noon on tips on teens. Bye. Bye guys