Teen Anxiety: how do I know if my kid has anxiety or just worries too much?

Is your anxious teenager worrying too much about the start of the school year? Hi, my name is
Kent at Tucson. Welcome to Tips on Teens. I am a marriage and family therapist, and I specialize
in helping kids, teens, and families to live happier lives. By the way, if you or someone you
love could really benefit from consulting with a family therapist, please contact us here
at Teen Therapy Center. Our email and phone number is in the caption below. Now, let's jump into
today's parent -submitted question on Tips on Teens. My 17 -year -old daughter is really agitated
about going back to school next week. She's obsessing over stuff to the point where she's giving
herself headaches. She's worried about doing well in her AP English class, what she's going
to wear, making the volleyball team. Honestly, it's endless. How do I know if this level of worry
is natural or if it's something she should be getting help for? Thank you for your question.
And when I was thinking about this today, my first

thought was, well, is this kind of a new thing? Is it just about the start of the school year? Or
has it been going for a while? And then I'm reading between the lines and reading the tea leaves,
and I'm thinking, I think this girl probably has been dealing with anxiety for a while. Because
if it was just this school year, okay, there's something specific about this. But my hunch is
this girl worries about everything, and she's probably been worrying for a while. So how do
we address that? If this is what you don't do, don't say, don't worry about it, it'll be fine.
Have you ever been really worried and someone tells you not to worry about it and you just want
to punch them in the nose? So don't do that. Instead, with all your strength and wisdom, with
your warmth and compassion, and if she'll accept warm, safe, physical affection, hold her
hand, put your arm around her shoulder, tell her you love her, tell her you understand, you've
felt this way before, you know, I understand it. We'll

get through it together. I think that's the way you start.

This is not a logical problem. So what I mean is, you know, logical problems require logical
solutions. This is not a logical problem. This is an emotional problem. So an emotional problem
requires emotional solutions. So the more emotional validation support you can give her without
trying to fix the problem, I think it's going to be helpful. Secondly, She's a volleyball player,
right? Great. So she's an athlete or she's interested in being an athlete. One of the things
we know about anxiety is that healthy, moderate exercise is one of the best things you can do
to treat anxiety. One of the very best. Again, healthy, moderate exercise. Whatever that means
to you, I'll let you figure that out. It's a very broad umbrella. Creative outlets, a little
less screen time, some positive interactions with family members, positive social interactions
you know exciting things look forward to hey let's go school shopping for clothes or for school
supplies having things look forward to create avenues

for your daughter to feel like she has some control if that's not enough the next step would be
having her talk to a therapist maybe that will help it takes time one sessions not gonna do it
it's a process the next step would be if you think she just is not dealing with her anxiety well.
Consulting with an adolescent psychiatrist. You know what you're thinking. You know, medication,
my kid. Psychotropic medication for teenagers is not the worst thing you can do. It may not be
the first thing you do and that's fine. Exhaust all the other avenues first. Exercise, creativity,
sleep. Sleep's a big deal. If she's not getting enough sleep, she's gonna be more anxious. Make
sure she's getting enough sleep. Having healthy nutrition. Getting enough water. Staying
hydrated, all those self -care things we always talk about. You know, if that's still not working,
try therapy. If that's not working enough, try medicine, medical options. There's a lot of
different things, but try and do your very best,

try not to dismiss the feelings. Be compassionate, warm, just like you'd want someone to be
for you, excuse me, if you were feeling anxious. That's our question for today. Thank you for
submitting. If you'd like me to answer your questions here on Tips on Teens. Email us at tipsonteens
at teentherapycenter .com or you can direct messages here right on social media. Again, my
name is Kent Toussaint, licensed marriage and family therapist. I lead Teen Therapy Center
and the nonprofit 501c3 organization, Child and Teen Counseling, both here in Woodland Hills,
California. Thank you so much. Keep your questions coming. I'm looking forward to answering
your question next week here on Tips on Teens everyone's day noon live on Facebook. Bye -bye.