“My daughter is getting mean texts from her so-called friend. What do I do?”

We want the people our teens spend time with to treat them with respect and kindness—especially once they start dating! So what do you do if relationship red flags start popping up in your teen’s romance? Here’s this week’s #TipsOnTeens question:

“My 15 year old daughter started liking a boy over the past year and after she turned 15 they started ‘dating,’ which means that they can be driven to a public place and spend time together or be at his house or ours with parents present. With quarantine, they mostly ‘hang out’ virtually.

He is a polite boy with a good heart. However, there have been occasions when he has become quite upset that she is spending time (via FaceTime, text, etc.) with other friends and not him. And then when she’s interacting with her other friends he is constantly texting or calling her AND the friend. I’ve talked with her about how controlling and unhealthy that is. (And I also believe some of it is just immaturity) I’ve talked with him and his mom and he has started going to counseling.

I’ve debated whether to exert more parental control and enforce restrictions on their relationship. With COVID, they don’t spend as much time together in person, but he’s always calling or texting her nonstop. Honestly, I have more than one question about this situation, but if I have to choose one, my question is this: While I do not like this controlling, immature behavior coming from him, I want to know what I can do to help my daughter stand up for herself?

She’s so passive. I hadn’t realized how much until this. We talk about it whenever it happens and she tells me she knows it’s not good or appropriate, but she’s not telling him! I know they care about each other and I’ve tried to be patient and understanding, but it just happened again. It causes so much stress and she has got to speak up for herself. I’m afraid that even if this boyfriend goes away, she’ll find herself in the same situation with the next one, or just in general.”

Tips On Teens is a vlog that our Clinical Director, Kent Toussaint, hosts every Wednesday at 12:00pm on Facebook Live.  He will be answering parenting questions submitted to us by you to our email at TipsOnTeens@TeenTherapyCenter.com.  Send us any questions you might have about parenting kids and teens and Kent will be answering them every week!

Head on over to our Facebook page every Wednesday at 12:00pm to watch LIVE!  Check out our page here – https://www.facebook.com/TeenTherapyCenter/

If you have more questions or would like more information, please contact our Clinical Director, Kent Toussaint at 818.697.8555.

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