Are you and your kids experiencing extreme burnout from distance learning?

Are you and your kids just fed up with distance learning? Well, let's talk about the day on Tips
on Teens. My name is Kent Toussaint. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I help
kids, teens, and families live happier lives. I lead two organizations, the Group Private
Practice Teen Therapy Center and the nonprofit 501c3 organization, Child and Teen Counseling,
both here in Woodland Hills, California. Every Wednesday at noon, I jump on Facebook Live to
answer your parenting questions. Let's jump into today's question. I am so tired of COVID and
my kids are even worse. One is in middle school and the other is in high school and I am so worried
that they will just stop doing their work altogether. It was so hard to keep them on track this
past semester. I hate that the schools are putting so many unreasonable expectations on our
kids! My kids seem so depressed and they are dreading going back to school next week. Winter
break was so needed and I saw them both spark up without all

the tension from school. How do I make them go back to distance learning without it sucking their
very souls out of them? Thank you for your question. I think you just spoke for millions of parents
all across the city and kids too. There's a lot you can do. First of all, let's just all acknowledge
that quarantine stinks. This whole COVID thing stinks. And we're stuck in it. And there's no
way to really get out of it until somehow we all get out of it. Hopefully by the summer or the fall.
Fingers crossed. But we'll see. Most of us have no control of that whatsoever except, you know,
maintaining our own personal safety. But for your kids, yeah, it's tough. Because school's
already kind of boring. But now it's the distance learning. It's over Zoom. You're do your softball
practice. You can't go to theater rehearsals. You can't do drumline. All the fun social things
that makes algebra class bearable are gone. And now you're just stuck with online school. And
if you got little kids, it's even

harder to get them to engage sometimes with the online school system. And it's tough. And they're
bored. And there are a few things. Number one I recommend is if your kids are really struggling,
connect with your teachers. collaborate with them, school counselors, the principals, you
know, the dean, whoever that is, to help make sure your kid is getting the support they need from
the school. That may not be enough. Second thing you want to do is since they can't get a lot of
that connection with their friends and their peers except over online, which just isn't the
same, you need to find a way to inspire that connection at home. Like you said, during winter
break your kids sparked up you know so there's something going on about winter break now I know
there's no homework which is great but what what can we transfer from winter break to school
now one of the things is make sure your kids aren't doing school all day long make sure they're
not plugged in to their screen from 8 in the morning

till 10 at night even if some of that is video games and social media and facetiming it gotta find
time to unplug we are as a human species, we are not designed to sit in a chair and be on a screen
for 8, 10, 12 hours a day. It's not good for us. We need to get out and do stuff. So find ways to get
your kids doing stuff with you that's fun, where they feel enjoyed by you. And that's the real
key, because if they feel that you enjoy being with them, it's easier for them to enjoy that process,
give it a chance, and feel more connected to you. That way they feel more safe, they feel like
they can tackle new obstacles. They feel that their self -worth is validated by you because
a big part of a kid's identity and self -worth is from their parents. And it's not about you telling
them good job and way to go and pat them on the head. It's that they feel appreciated and enjoyed
by you. So whether you're baking cookies together, where you're going on walks together, where
you're riding bikes together,

where you're playing board games together, whether you're, I don't know, whatever you're
doing, make sure that your kids feel enjoyed by you. So that's a big part of it because if they
have that. It may help them get through that, you know, five, six, seven, eight hours a day, or
whatever they need to do with school, and you help them get through that. Again, if it's too much
school, too much screen time, anyone's gonna get depressed. Anyone. If your kid is playing
video games for ten hours a day, they're gonna get depressed. Most of you notice that when your
kids are doing video games, or on social media, just on their phone in their bed all day long,
when they get off, they're grumpy, they're irritable, because we're not designed— that's
not healthy for us. We need to move, we need face -to -face interactions, we need to have creative
stimulation, and social media and video games don't provide that. They provide stimulation,
but it's not creative stimulation. It's not the same, you know,

playing a video game of basketball is not the same as going outside and shooting hoops and playing
basketball. There's a difference, and I would say that physical activity is much more important
than this one. If your kids are still struggling, and they might, get support. Get them into
therapy. There's lots of opportunities for therapy, especially with online learning or online
therapy. I know it's not always the ideal, but if your kid can do online therapy, great. If not,
therapists are an exempt service. We are allowed to see clients in our office. I'd say half our
client base is online, half is in the office. We wear masks, we wipe down touchables, we're able
to keep distance. So it's able you're able to do therapy in a safe way if you feel it's appropriate
for you and your kid. I'm just because some people call in and say you know what my kidneys therapy
but I don't want to schedule one more zoom I just want to be a face -to -face and that's totally
okay. There's plenty of therapy

options throughout the town for LA, California, the nation wherever you're watching there
are options especially you know with the online thing anyone the state can work with you you
know as long as they're in the same state. So make sure you're getting the support you need. So
when your kid does go back to school, they're not dragging all this baggage with them. They've
dealt with that. They're ready to hit the ground running and have fun and engage back in middle
school, back in high school, back in elementary school, whatever, or back in college, wherever
that may be. Get your kids support. And if money is tight, there are plenty of non -profit agencies
that can support you. We run a non -profit, Child and Teen Counseling. We work with families
with pricing. So don't let money be the obstacle. make sure you get your kids help. Again, my
name is Kent Toussaint. I'm a licensed Marriage Family Therapist. I lead Teen Therapy Center
and the nonprofit Child and Teen Counseling. We love your

parenting questions. Keep them coming. We do it every Wednesday at noon. If you'd like to email
us, our email is tipsonteens at teentherapycenter .com or you can just direct messages right
here on Facebook or Instagram. We love your comments. Keep them coming, and we will see you next
Wednesday at noon on Tips on Teens. Thanks, guys, and Happy New Year!