Bickering Kids: The Healthy Way To Resolve Conflict

Kids. Will. Bicker!

And while they’re kids, your children will keep bickering!

The good news is, bickering kids present you as a parent with an opportunity to teach lessons of communication that will stay with them their whole lives.

The first question to ask yourself if you have bickering kids is: are you and your partner providing a positive model for how to resolve conflict? When you clash with your kids or amongst yourselves, do you immediately get aggressive, or do you have a calm approach? The example you provide is the biggest influence on your children.

Next, don’t take sides! If you get involved in the argument and take a side yourself it will only continue the cycle of conflict. You can resolve these kinds of conflicts most effectively and minimize future escalations by making both sides feel you acknowledge them and are listening to their feelings.

it’s in the i’s

And then there’s the famous “I statement.” The “I statement” is a powerful tool for helping kids express their feelings and making themselves feel heard. Don’t know what an “I statement” is? Don’t worry! We’re going to teach you in this Tips on Teens video:

“Somehow my family has turned into that family that argues all the time. We never used to be like this. I have a 10 year old and a 6 year old, and it feels like they’re constantly bickering these days. Sometimes my wife and I get frustrated and we all get involved. It’s ridiculous! Most of the time it’s not like one of them is right and one of them is wrong, so I just don’t even know what to say to them anymore. If you have any techniques for parents in this situation I’d love to hear them before we all get in the car for a summer road trip.”