Infidelity: How Can Children Heal?

The Impact of Infidelity on Kids

If you’ve had infidelity in your marriage it can be as hard for your kids as it is for you. Children may feel a range of emotions from shame, embarrassment, betrayal and anger when one parent has been unfaithful. Kids may also feel a strong need to protect the parent who got hurt.

The key to reconciling is to not go too fast. If you push your kids too hard to accept your cheating spouse back they’ll be likely to reject both him/her and you. You need to do any reconciliation between you and your spouse thoughtfully and purposefully. If the spouse who messed up can take ownership for the infidelity and express remorse and empathy for the pain they caused, then it’s possible the kids can accept him/her back. 

It’s a tricky line to walk, and we talk about it in this Tips on Teens:

“Two years ago my husband and I separated because of infidelity. We’ve done a lot of work since then, and I’m ready for him to come back. We’ve done some therapy, but our three kids (11, 13, 16) are still really angry with him for the pain he caused, and they don’t want me to take him back. They think I’m being a doormat. How do I help them accept him again and heal?”