How do I create peace in my blended family?

Life in the blender

If your blended family isn’t blending so well, there are a few basic tips for achieving harmony. Obviously every family is different, so what works for some might not be right for others.

Here are some basics for achieving peace in a blended family:

Rule #1: Make sure that you’re setting the right example! Are you and your new spouse treating each other and your new family members with kindness, empathy and respect? The example you set is a powerful one, and your children will emulate it.

Rule #2: Make sure you’re not picking sides in disputes between children in a blended family. Now that your parenting someone else’s kid in addition to your own, you have to remember to be fair and evenhanded.

Rule #3: Don’t escalate disputes by getting angry. This only makes things worse. You have to stay calm, listen and show empathy.

And of course, there’s always therapy…

If you’re experiencing friction and discord in your new blended family, you have to try to figure out what the underlying cause is, and you can only do it if you’re at your best. Of course, therapy can help too. There’s a lot to say about the topic, and we start the conversation out in this week’s Tips On Teens:

“Hi Kent. I’m a mom in a blended family. I got remarried about a year ago, and it’s not going well with our kids. I have an 11 year old daughter, and my new husband has two sons, 13 and 16. The 11 year old and the 13 year old are always getting into it, and it’s creating a lot of tension around our house. My husband and I try to deal with everything together to be a united front, but it seems like the animosity between the kids is not going away. What can we do?”