Should you break up with your kid’s therapist?

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

Trying to decide if you should break up with your kid’s therapist? If your child likes their therapist, but you have reservations, then it’s time to evaluate. If you feel like it’s not a good fit, then it’s okay to find someone else, but we have some steps we recommend you take first.

Step #1 talk with your child. Find out why they like their therapist. Does the therapist make them laugh, feel safe or listened to? Try to get to the bottom of what it is about the therapist that is resonating with your child.

Next, check in with your spouse or ex. How do they feel about the therapist? Is it possible you’re seeing a little differently? Perhaps their insight will give you a new perspective. If your family dynamic allows for it, it might be a good time to check in with a family session and discuss progress. That may give you a better sense of what’s going on and more input to make a decision.

Give Your Kid The Opportunity to Say Goodbye

Last, you can try talking to the therapist directly and see if that sways you. If you do decide to break up with your kid’s therapist, it’s really important to give your kid a chance to say goodbye. Let your child have one or two last sessions with the therapist first before you move on.

If you’re thinking of changing therapists, there’s lots to consider and we talk about it all in this week’s Tips on Teens:

“I’m not really happy with my son’s therapist, but my son likes him, so I don’t know what to do. He’s 9, and he’s been in therapy for 3 months. My ex and I thought it was a good idea after our divorce. I just don’t really like the therapist’s personality. My impression is that he just doesn’t get my son, and he’s not really making the effort to ‘see’ him, and instead is just imposing some kind of cookie cutter, psychology school template on him. My kid says he likes the therapist, but he doesn’t really have anything to compare him to. If I felt he was making some major progress I’d be happier to let it go, but I’m not sure if that’s happening either. What’s your advice?”