Kids and College: How do you get your child back “on course?”

Parents have a lot of hangups about kids and college, and with good reason! You want your kids to succeed and be happy, right? But what if your child who excelled in High School hits a stumbling block in their college career? Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world.

It’s Up to Them Now

Parents in this situation have to recognize that the opportunities college affords belong to their kids, not them. The lines can be blurry sometimes for parents. If we try to push a square peg into a round hole we risk putting pressure on our kids, and guess what? It backfires every time! Having your kid go to college when they’re not prepared is not a recipe for success.

Supporting Your Kid Who Returned Home

If your kid came home from college for a reboot, how do you support them as a parent? Here are some things to remember:

1. Your child needs a reason to get out of bed in the morning or they’re going nowhere. Encourage them to get a part time job, volunteer or take classes at a community college. These activities all provide healthy structure.
2. Explore what went wrong, either if it’s with you or a therapist. Was college not what it was cracked up to be? Was there social pressure or burn out from High School? Figure out the answer. It’s important to process what’s getting in the way so your child can understand the obstacle and decide if another envirionment is better for them.

Your kid has to come up with the answers in their own time. Once they do that they will have an understanding that will propel them to success. Remember: it doesn’t matter where you go to college, matters how you go to college. Here’s this week’s Tips on Teens question:

“My daughter has left University after just one semester and returned home. I want to be supportive but this was her DREAM college. It had everything from the major to the student activities and the city where she wanted to be. She passed some of her classes but had to take incompletes on others. She wants to take this semester off to regroup. I feel like she’s throwing away an amazing opportunity. How do I help her?”