Teen Anxiety and Depression: What Two Therapists Want Parents to Know

By / / Uncategorized, Understanding Your Teenager

00:00:00    Curt

The one thing that I would want all parents to know about teen anxiety and depression that will help you get through your worries is don't be afraid to talk about it. It's something that exists and the more reluctant that you are to talk about it with your teen, about your own experience of having a teen with it, the more shame that can be stuck with it and that can make it feel like nothing can be done or that it can't be talked about. So kind of getting over yourself and being able to accept that this is something that is happening and by actually talking about it, it makes it easier to be able to do something about it.

 

00:00:38    Kent

Effective treatment for teen depression can look a lot of different ways. There's a lot of different modalities of therapy. People hear cognitive behavioral therapy or DBT or this or that and they're all great. But the most important thing I think is does this teenager feel they can trust and they respect their therapist and they feel trusted and respected by their therapist. If there's a strong connection and relationship between the therapist and the teenager or adult or eight-year-old, you have a much better chance of success because once you have that connection and that trust, that therapist can really push in ways that helps the kid test the boundaries of their assumptions, test the boundaries of their behaviors and try new things that may be more healthy for them.

 

00:01:26    Curt

If a parent's concerned that their teen is experiencing anxiety or depression, my recommendation is describe to your teen what your observations are and leave it as kind of an open space for reaction. I'm seeing you do this. I'm seeing you withdraw. I'm seeing you act out more with more anger. And being able to start from a place of observation without necessarily leading into a place that can be taken as judgment ends up being a starting place for conversation. Now, in the history of ever, I don't think that any teens will just immediately respond to that and say, "Yes, I'm anxious," or, "Yes, I'm depressed." But it does give you at least a starting point to be able to say, "I have my concerns in seeing this behavior change in you and I think that we need to talk about it."

 

00:02:18    Kent

Another thing I want you to keep in mind as parents, and Kurt and I are both parents as well, is that kids are really trying to do the best they can. And it's not about why are they doing this. It's like what's going on in the world that's getting in the way. And I think when we shift the dynamic to figure out what is getting in their way and having that exploration with them, we start understanding what is that emotional need they're trying to meet. When we find that emotional need, the behavior changes. And that can be done with just talking to your kid. It can be done with a therapist, group therapy, a lot of different ways. But again, it's not about why are they doing this and why are they making my life miserable because I'm scared and I'm frustrated, which is normal for any parent to feel. But it's really what is getting in this child's way and how do we meet that emotional need so they can shift towards a more healthy environment.

 

Teen Anxiety and Depression: What Parents Need to Know

This video is taken from a conversation between Teen Therapy Center Clinical Supervisor Kent Toussaint, LMFT, and Curt Widhalm, LMFT, founder of Curt Widhalm & Associates, two experienced clinicians who have spent decades helping teens and families navigate anxiety and depression.

If you’re concerned about your teen—and not quite sure what to do—you’re not alone. And more importantly, there is a path forward.

Start by Talking About It (Even If It Feels Uncomfortable)

One of the most important—and often overlooked—steps is simply talking about anxiety and depression openly.

Many parents hesitate. They worry about saying the wrong thing, making it worse, or putting ideas in their teen’s head. But avoiding the conversation can unintentionally create more shame around what your teen is experiencing.

When anxiety or depression feels like something that can’t be talked about, it also starts to feel like something that can’t be helped.

Opening the door—even imperfectly—can make a meaningful difference. It signals to your teen that they’re not alone, and that this is something your family can face together.

How to Start the Conversation Without Pushing Them Away

A helpful approach is to lead with observation, not judgment.

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why are you acting like this?”, try something more grounded:

“I’ve noticed you’ve been more withdrawn lately.”
“I’ve seen you getting more frustrated or overwhelmed.”

This creates space rather than pressure.

Most teens won’t immediately respond with, “Yes, I’m anxious.” That’s normal. The goal isn’t to get a perfect answer—it’s to open a line of communication and show that you’re paying attention.

Your Teen Isn’t Trying to Make Life Hard

When anxiety or depression shows up as irritability, withdrawal, or resistance, it can be incredibly frustrating as a parent.

But underneath those behaviors is something important: your teen is trying to cope.

Instead of asking, “Why are they doing this?”, a more helpful question is:

“What’s getting in their way?”

When you shift from frustration to curiosity, you start to uncover the emotional needs driving the behavior. And when those needs are understood and supported, change becomes much more possible.

What Actually Makes Therapy Work

There are many effective approaches to treating anxiety and depression—CBT, DBT, and others.

But one factor matters more than any specific technique:

The relationship between your teen and their therapist.

When a teen feels respected, understood, and safe, they’re far more likely to engage in the process. That connection creates the foundation for real change—allowing them to challenge patterns, try new behaviors, and build confidence.

Without that trust, even the best techniques fall flat.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

If you’re feeling worried, overwhelmed, or unsure of what to do next—that’s completely normal.

The good news is that anxiety and depression are highly treatable, especially when addressed early and thoughtfully.

Sometimes the first step is simply reaching out, asking questions, and getting a clearer sense of what support might look like for your family.

Trusted Resources for Parents Navigating Teen Anxiety

Below are evidence-based resources from leading mental health organizations:

Contact Us For More Information

If you have more questions or would like more information, please contact our Clinical Director, Kent Toussaint at 818.697.8555.