Help! My Teen is a Perfectionist!

Your Teen Doesn’t Know How to “Balance” Yet

If your teen is a perfectionist who pushes themselves too hard, the good news is that they have a good work ethic and desire to do well. The problem is, you’re teen probably isn’t too good at maintaining a healthy balance between work and well being. When that same teen perfectionist is pushing themselves to get into a “good” college, things can get way out of whack! 

For teens in high school there’s always going to be a lot of external noise about the importance of where a kid goes to college and how it relates to success in life. The problem is it’s just not true! People can be wildly successful and happy even if they don’t get into Princeton. It’s important to help give your kid some context and help them recognize that a happy life and where they go to college aren’t necessarily the same thing. Wouldn’t you rather your son or daughter graduate with a lower gpa and still have a strong connection with you and a happier life?

provide your child with Context!

If you’ve got a teen perfectionist, sit down with them and try to figure out what exactly he or she is trying to accomplish? Why is she working so hard? What’s the goal that’s driving this behavior? You need to model balance for your kids as well. Make family time, down time, time for creative outlets and prioritize sleep. All this is the topic in this week’s Tips on Teens video:

“My daughter is literally losing sleep and obsessing over homework, and I don’t know what to do about it. She has to turn in her assignments on Schoology and the deadline is at midnight on Sundays. Even though she’s finished the assignment, she stays up late making revision after revision until it’s time to turn it in. She’s exhausted and overworked now. I’ve been trying to convince her that it doesn’t have to be ‘perfect,’ that what she’s turning in the first time is good enough, but I’m not getting through. Any ideas how I can convince her?”