Losing Your Child To Adulthood

Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you

When kids go away to college it brings up a lot of emotions for parents. It’s typical for parents to experience a sort of grieving process in these situations. It makes sense right? You’re losing your child to adulthood. This sensation of grief is normal, but what parents need to avoid is putting the burden of grief on their child.

From your young adult’s perspective, life is probably great! It’s their first time away from home. They’re having a good time, making new friends, having romances, possibly exploring a new town, etc. To them a text or phone call from mom or dad just means answering a bunch of questions and getting annoyed.

Free, Free, Set Them Free

So what do you do as a parent in this situation? Basically, you need to let them drift away. But there’s good news: they’ll come back to you! And when they do, they’ll do it on their terms. In the meantime, parents should look for someone to talk to or find another healthy way to process their emotional needs. 

Losing your child to adulthood isn’t easy. There’s more to say, and we don’t leave the nest empty in this Tips on Teens:

“My 18 year old left home for college about 6 weeks ago. We facetime once a week on Sundays as a family which is great. But he never responds to my texts. I try to keep the texts short and limit them to once every few days. Did you see the dodger game? Did you make it too bonfire on thursday, or too much work? Any suggestions for what you might like for your birthday in a couple of weeks? I get nothing. I have talked to him and told him how upset it makes me. He apologizes, but doesn’t change. Any advice?”