Video Transcript
How Does Social Media Affect Teen Mental Health? | Kent Toussaint, LMFT, Teen Therapy Center
If you are worried about how social media is affecting your teenager's mental health, I guarantee you, you are not alone. It is one of the most common things parents are bringing to us right now. My name is Kent Toussaint. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I'm also the founder and clinical director of Teen Therapy Center in Woodland Hills. Please stick around, because this one is really important.
Why are teenage brains especially vulnerable to social media? A teenage brain is not a fully developed brain. It's not their fault, it's just biology. The brain isn't fully developed until roughly 25 years old. So once adolescence starts, say around age 11, all through high school and even into college, that brain doesn't regulate impulses very well, doesn't regulate emotions very well, and doesn't understand cause and effect the way an adult does. So when a teen is scrolling and there's always that next dopamine hit, always that next thing to tap, it's exciting and it's hard to resist. It's hard for adults to resist. It's three times as hard for an adolescent. And then there are all the negative comparisons, because they're constantly measuring themselves against what's curated on someone else's feed. It's not real, but a teenager interprets it as real, and as evidence that they're not good enough. That creates a negative feedback loop, and it can be really detrimental if left unchecked.
What are the main impacts on your teenager's mental health from social media? Let's start with anxiety and depression. So much of what your teen is consuming is idealized and curated, and it creates an unrealistic expectation of how they should be in life. That fuels a constant loop of negative comparison, and it tears down their self-esteem.
Let's also look at sleep problems. How many of us scroll on our phone for maybe a half hour before bed? Well, we have a fully developed adult brain. Your 15-year-old does not. So your 15-year-old doesn't scroll for a half hour, she scrolls for four hours, which means she's not getting enough sleep. And one of the biggest telltale signs of anxiety and depression is lack of sleep. In my practice, when I see kids start to get eight to ten hours of sleep a night, the anxiety comes down and the depression comes down. So this is something we really need to pay attention to.
Then there's social isolation. You'd think that a lot of activity on social media would strengthen their social bonds, but it usually does the opposite. They get so focused on social media and online connection that they lose sight of the importance of in-person connection. They stop going to birthday parties, they don't really talk to friends or hang out on a Saturday night, and that erodes their ability to connect socially, which they need in order to build toward adult relationships. All of these things, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, sleep problems, and social isolation, are really important, and they build on each other. When they're not taken care of, your kid starts to crumble emotionally.
So how do you know when you need to take action and help your teenager with this? Here are some of the signs, not all of them, but some. Is anxiety or depression kicking up more than the average teenage irritability? Is sleep becoming a problem? Has their appetite suddenly dropped off? Have their social connections changed dramatically? These are real concerns. If your parental intuition is telling you something's wrong, follow that intuition and get help.
So what can you do if you're concerned about the influence of social media on your teenager? The first thing is, don't panic. Be calm, be patient. Don't rip the phone out of their hands because of your own anxiety and worry, understandable as it is. And have some empathy for yourself, too. This is really challenging. Screens are everywhere, and they're not going away. We're all trying to adapt to raising kids in a screen-filled world.
Another thing I encourage is to set the example you want them to follow. If you want your kids shutting off their screens at 9 p.m., then you also have to shut off your screens at 9 p.m. Otherwise it's hypocrisy. It's like you eating a giant, delicious ice cream sundae going, “Oh, this is delicious,” and then saying, “No ice cream for you.” It's not going to fly. So collaborate with your kids on how you can both enjoy the ice cream that is screens. It's going to be an imperfect middle. It's not going to be everything you want, and it's not going to be everything they want. You're going to have to find an imperfect middle that's healthy enough.
At Teen Therapy Center, we see the impact of screens and social media on teenagers' mental health every single day: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, sleep problems, social isolation. These are all very real problems, but they are treatable. If your family is struggling with any of these issues, please visit the page on our website dedicated to this topic; the link is in the caption below. Or you can give us a call, our phone number is below as well. We'd be happy to have a complimentary phone consultation with you to collaborate on how to best support you, your child, and your family.
If you are worried about how social media is affecting your teenager, you are not alone. It is one of the most common concerns parents bring to us right now. The reassuring part is that understanding what is actually happening, and knowing you have real options, makes the whole thing far less overwhelming.
In a recent video, Kent Toussaint, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder and clinical director of Teen Therapy Center, breaks down why teens are so affected by social media, the signs worth watching for, and the calm, practical steps you can take at home. Here is the heart of what he shared.
Why Are Teen Brains Especially Vulnerable to Social Media?
It helps to start with biology, because this is not about a teen being weak or a parent doing something wrong. The human brain is not fully developed until around age 25. From the start of adolescence, roughly age 11, all the way through high school and even into college, the teenage brain is still learning to regulate impulses and emotions and to weigh cause and effect the way an adult brain does.
That matters a lot with social media. Every scroll offers the next little hit of stimulation, the next thing to react to. It is hard for adults to resist, and by Kent’s estimate it is about three times harder for a teenager. Add in the constant stream of curated, idealized posts, and a teen can quietly absorb the message that they are not good enough. That sets off a negative feedback loop that, left unchecked, can really wear a young person down.
The Main Ways Social Media Affects Teen Mental Health
A few effects show up again and again, and they tend to build on one another:
Anxiety and Depression
So much of what your teen sees online is idealized and carefully curated, which sets an unrealistic bar for how their own life is supposed to look. The result is a steady loop of negative comparison that chips away at self-esteem and feeds anxiety and low mood.
Sleep Problems
Plenty of adults scroll for half an hour before bed. The trouble is, a 15-year-old does not have an adult brain to help put the phone down. That half hour can stretch into three or four hours, and the lost sleep adds up fast. Sleep loss is one of the clearest contributors to anxiety and depression. Kent notes that in his practice, when teens start getting eight to ten hours of sleep a night, their anxiety and depression often come down with it.
Social Isolation
You might expect lots of online activity to strengthen friendships, but it often does the opposite. When connection moves almost entirely online, teens can lose touch with the in-person time that actually builds social confidence. They skip the gatherings, the Saturday nights out, the face-to-face moments they need in order to grow into healthy adult relationships.
On their own, each of these is significant. Together, anxiety, low self-esteem, poor sleep, and isolation reinforce each other, and that is when a teen can start to struggle in a bigger way.
Warning Signs It May Be Time to Get Help
Every teen has moody days, so the real question is whether something feels different from the usual ups and downs. A few things worth paying attention to:
- Anxiety or low mood that seems to be climbing beyond ordinary teenage irritability
- Sleep that has become a real problem
- A sudden change in appetite
- Friendships and social connection that have shifted noticeably
Most of all, trust your gut. If your parental intuition is telling you something is off, that is worth listening to. Following that instinct and reaching out for support early is never the wrong call.
What You Can Do as a Parent
Here is where Kent is especially reassuring. The first step is simple: do not panic. Try to stay calm and patient, and resist the urge to yank the phone away out of your own worry, understandable as that worry is. Screens are everywhere, they are not going away, and every parent is figuring out how to raise kids in a screen-filled world. Give yourself some grace, too.
One of the most powerful moves is to set the example you want your teen to follow. If you would like them off their screens at 9 p.m., then your screens go off at 9 p.m. as well. As Kent puts it, you cannot sit there enjoying a giant ice cream sundae while telling them there is none for them. It will not fly. Instead, collaborate with your teen on a plan you can both live with. It will be an imperfect middle, not everything you want and not everything they want, but something healthy enough that you arrive at together.
Support for Families Across the West Valley
At Teen Therapy Center, we see the impact of screens and social media on teenagers every single day. Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, sleep problems, and social isolation are all very real, and they are also very treatable.
Our experienced, licensed therapists work with teens and families throughout Woodland Hills, Calabasas, Encino, Agoura Hills, Hidden Hills, and Sherman Oaks, with in-person, online, and phone sessions to fit your family’s schedule. We speak both teenager and parent, and we bring you into the process rather than leaving you on the outside of it.
If you would like to go deeper on this specific topic, visit our resource page on screen time and social media, or learn more about our teen therapy and anxiety therapy.
A Few Quick Questions Parents Ask
Is social media really bad for my teen, or is that overblown? It is less about good or bad and more about how a still-developing brain responds to endless curated content and constant stimulation, which can feed anxiety, comparison, poor sleep, and isolation. The goal is healthy balance, not fear.
Should I just take my teen’s phone away? Going cold turkey out of panic usually backfires. A plan you build together, where you model the same limits you are asking of them, tends to work far better and last longer.
When should we talk to a therapist? If your intuition says something is off, or you are noticing rising anxiety or low mood, changes in sleep or appetite, or social withdrawal, it is worth reaching out. You do not have to wait for a crisis.
Ready to Talk?
If social media and your teen’s mental health have been weighing on you, we would be glad to help. Call us at (818) 697-8555 or contact us here for a complimentary consultation. We will talk through what is going on and help you find the right next step for your family.
Clinical Director Kent Toussaint answers your parenting questions every Wednesday at 12:00pm in our weekly segment Tips On Teens on Facebook Live. Have questions about parenting kids and teens? Send them to: [email protected]. We love to hear from you!
Head on over to our Facebook page every Wednesday at 12:00pm to watch LIVE! Check out our page here – https://www.facebook.com/TeenTherapyCenter/
If you have more questions or would like more information, please contact our Clinical Director, Kent Toussaint at 818.697.8555.